Restless
by northstars
Summary: Faramir muses over his brother, Boromir's, death. Very depressing. Read and Review please.


Restless  
Chaputer One: Why Boromir  
By: Northstar  
  
Juliet: Hello everybody. I am back. This might be a one chapter fic. I don't now right now. It all depends on if you guys all like it. Right?  
  
Gollum: Yesss, you isss right misstresss.  
  
Dobby: Yes, yes miss is always right miss.  
  
Winky: *is very drunk* I want another ( hucccup) butterbeer.  
  
Juliet: *huge sigh* No Winky. You've had to much already. *to everybody* I don't own Lord of the Rings. So don't bug me about it please.  
  
Gollum: Yesss, don't bug massster. Wesss don't own a thing.  
  
Dobby: Miss is right here too miss is.  
  
Winky: *whining* But I waaaaaant one!  
  
Juliet: *angrily* How many times do I have to tell you only one butterbeer a day. No more butterbeers. You aready had your limit of one.  
  
Winky: But I want one now!  
  
Dobby: .*whispers to Winky* Later Winky I will steal one when miss isn't looking. I promise!  
  
Gollum: Isss will tell if yousss do Dobby. Iss will youss hear me.  
  
Juliet: This was My Idea, yet again! *victory dance* Oh yeah! Uh huh! Oh yeah! I'm good!  
  
Winky: You mean to me miss is.  
  
Juliet: Oh, shut your mouth Winky. You are not going to have a butterbeer. Do you hear me Winky. Dobby won't even sneak one to you.  
  
Dobby: I am sorry miss. Won't talk about miss. Never not any more. ( He beats his head on the computer)  
  
Gollum: Stopsss that! Youss is making missstresss sssad. Lookss at her.  
  
Juliet: On with the fic then!  
  
***  
  
I hate my brother, and I am glad he is dead.  
  
But he was the best brother I ever had. My only brother to tell the truth. My best friend. And now he is gone. Gone forever. I will never see him again. Not after I saw him in the river.  
  
I miss him already. He was the only person I could really talk to. To tell him my feelings to. That was the most important part of our friendship, our brotherly love. Or wasn't it. Isn't telling someone one's feelings important?  
  
Why Boromir? Why did my only friend, my only brother have to die? Someone, please tell me why.  
  
In fact, we where all we had. We had no other friends. I was never alowed to talk to any of the people living in Gondor, not even the servants.  
  
We were never allowed out of the palace until we were fourteen. Boromir was the only person I was alowed to talk to other than father. Father never did talk to me much. Sometimes he would talk to me for about ten minutes, but that was all.  
  
I never knew my father. I only knew the Steward of Gondor.  
  
I want him back even if it means that I will never be loved by my father. But isn't being love by one's father more inportant then one's brother?  
  
It's just nobody's ever cared for me other then Boromir, and now he's gone. I'll do anything to see him again. Please just one more time while he was alive, or even now when he is dead! I would like to see him as a spirit just to see him again.  
  
I should have went with him. I should have been the one that died. I should have been there to save him, just like he would have for me. I should have died with him. I should have...  
  
But it is to late to think of what I should have done. He is gone, and I can't help it.  
  
I wish it was me that went on that stupid quest. I was the one having the stupid dreams that caused this whole thing. It was me. My stupid mouth that made him worry about me. If I hadn't told him about the dream and he hadn't had the same dream this would never had.  
  
It was my fault. All my boody fault. My father blames me. I can see it in his eyes. Everytime I am with father he wears the look that says your brother is dead because of you. I can't stand look at my own father now. I don't want to see that look on his face. Ever. It scares me silly. Sometimes when I see it I think he wants to kill me for what I did to Boromir. My own brother.  
  
That is why I can't stay here. I have to leave this place, and now. If I don't I will die. I will die because I won't be able to stay in the place where I last saw Boromir. Where I last heard his voice speaking to me. I will leave even if it is against my fathers will. He does not care he never has ans never will.  
  
I have already asked my father if he could send me to war. Maybe I could die in battle. That way I don't have to deal with it any more.  
  
I will get fathers anwser tomorrow.  
  
***  
  
I have just gotten back from seeing father. He said I could go. I am leaving this h--- hole. I won't be here to rember Boromir. I won't cry now. I can't cry. I'm leaving. Maybe even leaving forever.  
  
Fater said I was to go to Mordor and I will be fighting some people that are traveling there to fight against us. (Juliet: I can't rember the place or the group of people that Faramir had the battle. I are very sorry about this. So could someone tell us so I can fix it?) To be our enemies. They will all die. I will kill them for Boromir. By God they will all die!  
  
The only thing that I will miss from here is seeing father. Well I guess I will miss all the times that Boromir and I talked. All of my memories of Boromir. I will miss all of my memories for share.  
  
I hope that I don't lose father too while I'm away. I would never be able to live then. Never. I don't want to live now anyways. What is the point of living anyways. With no brother to talk to.  
  
What if I make a mistake in battle on props? Then it will be unfair for all of the troops fighting beside me. I always tend to fret about such things: And Boromir would be the one who could convice me that I'd do fine.  
  
Boromir would want me to be with him. Father doesn't even want to talk to me, or look at me becase it was my fault for Boromir's death. I can't believe I complained when father asked me to go. If I had, Boromir would still be here, the best brother one could ever have. . .  
  
I could just stab myself too. Just get it over with so I don't have to be here in this f------ world. This f------ world with no meaning, just life and death, where it seems I have gotten all the worst plays.  
  
What is going on with me? Was I just having thoughts about suicide? No, I will not stoop that low. Boromir would be ASHAMED to even have me consider such a thing. The fact is that I will never, ever kill myself. Never ever. Someone will have to kill me before I do that.  
  
I am leaving in a couple of days for the battle. I will be taking 200 men with me.  
  
I will stand, and I will fight.  
  
For Boromir.  
  
***  
  
I am about to go to war. My father has left, said he had 'urgent happenings' to see to. I asked him if he would stay and be at the last supper I will be in this place, a celebration (Though being here isn't much of a celebration for me) and he politely refused.  
  
Actually, it wasn't quite polite.  
  
It was a rude, coated 'NO' with anger attached.  
  
What a great dad I have, huh?  
  
We had some visitors. They were all very disapointed that I would be leaving, but I could tell the emotion was applied. I didn't even know any of them: So they couldn't have been to worried about my well-being.  
  
Most of them were family of the men I am taking with me to Mordor. King Theoden came, though he was not to come to war. His son came with him: A nice person, I suppose, but rather boring, and I soon tired of his methodical tone.  
  
The only one even mutely lively there was the neice of Theoden, Aiowen. She is a beautiful young woman, and not so strained by rules and regulations. But she did not stay long: Apparently no one there pleased her enough to stay for the full party.  
  
That's sad. I wanted to know her some before I went to war.  
  
I believe she was engaged to Boromir before he died. But she is not in mourning. I asked her about this, and she laughed. A lovely laugh, but Boromir's death is not a laughing matter in my book.  
  
"Boromir, I suppose, was a wonderful man." She said, smiling at me, "But not so much to make me fall for him."  
  
None the less, she has left to the guest rooms now.  
  
Boromir would have been a wonderful husband, I believe. It is a tragedy that they did not meet long enough for Aiowen to realize this.  
  
I hope I will be able to fill in his shoes, if you know what I mean. It is a very hard act to play. But something tells me I will do pretty fine.  
  
Boromir, if you can hear this, listen carefully, for this is very important for you to know this. I will finish everything you started.  
  
I promise, my brother, I will not fail you.  
  
Fin. *  
  
Juliet: I will put up another chap. I know this is short, but the next one will be longer. I think it will at least. It is very hard to right down some elses feelings.  
  
Gollum: Yesssss makess it longer. Theyss will like it longer.  
  
Dobby: Giver Winky another one miss. Please miss. She drive us all nutts soon.  
  
Winky: Yes nother one miss. Please.  
  
Gollum: Be kind to usss. Bess kind to me, and usss.  
  
Winky: Just one more miss.  
  
Juliet: Okay, Okay. One more butterbeer. Just be quit for ten minutes. *tosses Winky butterbeer*  
  
Winky: *guzzles butterbeer*  
  
Dobby: Very kind miss is.  
  
Juliet: If you think this is good, or even if you think this is bad my frieds and I came out with a HP fic. It's called The Truth is Told. You will like that one, you will. Right Guys?  
  
Dobby: Miss you aright, miss.  
  
Gollum: Isss like that one Isss do.  
  
Winky: Gre ( hucccup) at!  
  
Juliet: Will I would hope so you guys have read it five times each at least. It isn't even done yet.  
  
Dobby: It's still great miss. It is miss. A masterpiece in my opinion.  
  
Juliet: Well thank Dobby. If you like depreesing stories I would read Bitter Winds. It's great. Shimmersea is a great author, and friend.  
  
Winky: Great (hiccup) story. I love it.  
  
Juliet: Well, I hope you enjoyed the fic. Please review. (If you please, of course. . .) 


End file.
